Author Topic: A month of firsts  (Read 5017 times)

Dubster

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Re: A month of firsts
« Reply #15 on: Sat, Oct 12, 2013, 17:10 PM »
lol. i tried that and they wouldn't take me.  ;)
i wrote the story below and football violence
unit officers came to the house for info on where,
how and why i got the story. waste of time really,
but if the prick doesn't plead guilty then i will
have to travel to give evidence in court. crazy
times, eh?



http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/horrified-celtic-fans-brand-football-2336545
Ah, I see.  I hope he scratched that big telly of his with the knife...

czefski

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Re: A month of firsts
« Reply #16 on: Sat, Oct 12, 2013, 17:39 PM »
I just took a slice off the top of one finger and made a pretty deep incision in another whilst using a hand blender. I appear to have taken the name too literally. These clean cuts cause a lot of blood to flow.

czefski

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Re: A month of firsts
« Reply #17 on: Sat, Oct 12, 2013, 17:54 PM »
interviewed by the police.
watched an amateur rugby
match all the way through
and enjoyed england winning
last night. (they helped win
 me a ton on a footie roll up)

which egg chasers were you watching?

Leckers

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Re: A month of firsts
« Reply #18 on: Sat, Oct 12, 2013, 18:22 PM »
saw the mighty preston lodge beat
corstorphine at the pennypit park
last saturday. typical scottish fare -
tries, fights, pies and lager.

Rusticbob

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Re: A month of firsts
« Reply #19 on: Sat, Oct 12, 2013, 19:55 PM »
lol. i tried that and they wouldn't take me.  ;)
i wrote the story below and football violence
unit officers came to the house for info on where,
how and why i got the story. waste of time really,
but if the prick doesn't plead guilty then i will
have to travel to give evidence in court. crazy
times, eh?

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/horrified-celtic-fans-brand-football-2336545

Ok - i get that this guy is an idiot and a d!ck, but is holding a knife against a tv screen really a prosecutable offence now? 

Leckers

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Re: A month of firsts
« Reply #20 on: Sat, Oct 12, 2013, 21:56 PM »
if it had been any other manager then probably
not, but after all the shit with lennon and bullets
in the post, being assaulted at tynecastle and
knocked out in a glasgow street then quite possibly.
anyway, let's hope so as this kind of stuff keeps
me in wagon wheels.

Jackie

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Re: A month of firsts
« Reply #21 on: Sat, Oct 12, 2013, 23:12 PM »
8 hours in and the green tomato chutney is still reducing :o

Jackie

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Re: A month of firsts
« Reply #22 on: Sat, Oct 12, 2013, 23:14 PM »
I'm getting bored watching it and poking at it with a wooden spoon --- I'm off to bed

fuctifano

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Re: A month of firsts
« Reply #23 on: Sun, Oct 13, 2013, 09:36 AM »
was asked to be best man. that was a first.

Dubster

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Re: A month of firsts
« Reply #24 on: Sun, Oct 13, 2013, 10:37 AM »
got very drunk in front of my Mum and threw up :-[  a very big embarrassing first for me


Rusticbob

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Re: A month of firsts
« Reply #25 on: Sun, Oct 13, 2013, 11:33 AM »
got very drunk in front of my Mum and threw up :-[  a very big embarrassing first for me

 :) Best to get that one out of the way in your teens.

Dubster

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Re: A month of firsts
« Reply #26 on: Sun, Oct 13, 2013, 13:32 PM »
got very drunk in front of my Mum and threw up :-[  a very big embarrassing first for me

 :) Best to get that one out of the way in your teens.

yeh, but I never did!!!  Thought I was doing well to get to 45 without her seeing me wasted... ;D

czefski

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Re: A month of firsts
« Reply #27 on: Sun, Oct 13, 2013, 13:37 PM »
was asked to be best man. that was a first.

Nice, I've been best man 3 times, first time was a disaster. That's because the groom and I made a pact not to write speeches, which turned out was a lot easier for him than me, given he got up said how beautiful the bride was, thanked the parents then sat down. Oh yeah, the groom was also arrested on his stag night, under my watch, for pissing in a shop doorway. Apart from that I thought I did pretty well, if you want any tips, just ask.

Jackie

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Re: A month of firsts
« Reply #28 on: Sun, Oct 13, 2013, 14:25 PM »
My ex was best man at his closest friends wedding and refused to write a speech on the basis that he had known his mate forever and could just stand up and speak off the cuff.  I tired to persuade him to at least make some rough notes (on the basis that I knew he wasn't nearly as witty as he thought he was)
On the day rather as czefski suggests the groom spoke for about 30 seconds and then it was Iains turn - all smiling and confident -  stands up and then a big fat nothing -- total silence which seemed to go on for the whole of my life (and I'm sure the happy couples) It was excruciating, I still feel :-[ when I think about it.

Jackie

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Re: A month of firsts
« Reply #29 on: Sun, Oct 13, 2013, 14:30 PM »
Sorry Mark these are not the sorts of stories you need to hear are they!

Last year Paul and i were witnesses at our friends wedding - Paul made a speech and i was asked to read a passage from a book and we both enjoyed it very much.

You will be a great best man -  all the experience you have had with us drunks over the last 2 or 3 years will come in handy :)